


though we can't see the end, we need to look for it

by humaling (orphan_account)



Category: Stray Kids (Band)
Genre: M/M, implied seungjin, its mostly just chan and woojin, the rest are just mentioned - Freeform, this is an actual mess
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-12-08
Updated: 2017-12-08
Packaged: 2019-02-12 04:55:29
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 788
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12951747
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/humaling
Summary: in his mind, he sees minho’s smile, pure and sweet, flashing brightly at him; he can hear felix’s loud happiness somewhere close, beyond the dark of the room and the sound of woojin’s singing. in his mind, they are nine – they will always be nine.





	though we can't see the end, we need to look for it

the clock reads 4:31 am as chan blinks blearily at the plain walls of their room. he had been up all night, writing lyrics and working on their songs in the dim light of their shared room. his eyes were tired and half closed, his back aching almost as much as his heart.

he turns the laptop off, closing it shut on the desk before he gets up and drags his feet over and climbs onto his bed, pulling the covers tightly around him. below him, woojin sleeps soundly on his side, hair mussed and mouth slightly parted. the third bed in the room remains unoccupied, something that’s been eating at chan’s heart for a while now. he wonders how seungmin was sleeping without his roommate’s presence these nights. he supposes the younger boy drags himself over to the big room every night to sneak into hyunjin’s bed – or perhaps it was hyunjin who had temporarily moved into the other room to keep him company while felix was away?

briefly, chan feels the urge to laugh at himself for thinking about it as if they were only on a vacation. oh, what he’d do for that to be real – for minho and felix to only be away on a vacation, resting and relaxed. instead, they had been spending more late nights in the spare training rooms, working themselves beyond their limit and blaming themselves over something that was entirely not their fault. no – if anything, it was his fault for not being a good enough leader, for not having helped them out more. he should have been there, should have seen how much they were struggling. now, because of his shortcomings, they were eliminated, _his_ own team torn apart because of his own faults, and –

“chan?”

he freezes at the sound of woojin’s voice, still thick with sleep. too late, he realises how restless he must have been, moving around enough to disturb woojin’s much needed sleep. _yet another mistake_ , he thinks, scolding himself internally.

from his bed below, woojin sighs.

“chan, i know you’re awake,” he calls out. there’s something rustling, someone shifting around, and then chan can see woojin’s silhouette against the faint moonlight streaming from outside, just barely able to make his features out in the dark. “hey.”

“did i wake you?” chan asks, moving backwards so as to let woojin slide into the space on his small bunk. “i’m sorry.”

woojin hums. “it’s alright, i wasn’t sleeping well anyway,” he says, and chan feels a small pinch on his heart. “what’s wrong?”

chan lets out a deep sigh, tears threatening to well up in his eyes. “nothing, it’s just – ” woojin nods, lets him collect his thoughts patiently as chan fumbles for his words in the dark.

“i could have done better,” chan finally whispers, eyes not quite meeting woojin’s. “i should have done better, been a better leader. i should have been there to help them, woojin, i should have _been there_ – ” his voice cracks as a single tear slips out, and he takes in a choked breath.

warm hands come up to his face, fingers wiping the wet trail away, and chan leans in gladly into the touch, woojin’s arms coming up to wrap around him, rubbing comforting circles against his back. the eldest boy starts humming, voice hushed but sweet, and idly, chan recognises the song to be _glow_. the song brings a wave of bittersweet feelings to his heart, but he lets woojin’s voice lull him to sleep.

_i look at the night sky, i look at the bright stars,_

_i shine, even though it’s dark_

_it looks just like us_

in his mind, he sees minho’s smile, pure and sweet, flashing brightly at him; he can hear felix’s loud happiness somewhere close, beyond the dark of the room and the sound of woojin’s singing. in his mind, they are nine – they will always be nine.

_the road we need to go on_

_although we can’t see the end,_

_we need to look for it_

slowly, he lets the sleep seep into his mind, lets himself succumb to his exhaustion. slowly, chan’s mind drifts away, dreaming of nine instead of the seven they are now. he hears the music stop, but he’s already slipping away, and the last thing he hears before he goes is woojin’s sweet voice in his ear, soft as he says, “you’re the best leader we could have, you hear me?” and he does.

woojin smiles when he sees chan’s face relax, leaning forward to brush his hair out of his eyes and taking him into his arms. the night may be dark, but tomorrow never dies.

_i’m only running forward,_

_lighting up the dark within_

**Author's Note:**

> its almost 2018 when will i write nice things  
> anw i hope that was,,,, somewhat,,,,,, ok,,,,,,,,, i'll prob post a seungjin fic soon!! thank u for reading this and for putting up w my horrible writing i hope u liked it somehow!! remember its nine or none uwu
> 
> [talk to me on twt](http://twitter.com/allforstraykids)


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